Do you appear quite confident to others and yet you have an inner voice that’s questioning your abilities, sabotaging your inner security? You are not alone! Many people lack inner confidence or are held back by their limiting mindset.
Our thoughts and beliefs are instrumental in dictating what transpires in our lives and in our careers. Too often, our own inner critic pops up and tells us it’s “never going to happen;” we’re “not really good enough” anyway. It’s important to remember that voice inside our heads is NOT the real you.
What needs to shift?
- Change your perspective. Are you so absorbed in how you are coming across that you are totally ignoring what is happening for the person you are speaking to? Have you ever worked yourself up over getting things perfect when good would have been more than enough? Have you ever agonized over mistakes that no one else even noticed? Turn your negative thinking into positive thoughts and actions. Learn to change your thinking by focusing on your progress and accomplishments rather than on how much is left to do. Notice where you are placing your attention and focus and make sure you are filtering out any negativity.
- Know your worth. Start with an honest look at yourself. Engage others who know you to assist you by providing their honest feedback as well. What are you good at? What do you typically get recognized or praised for? What are you known for? What comes easy to you? How have you added value to your job or company? Now summarize your findings into 3-4 key strengths by writing it all down. Make sure to include real life examples for each strength you have identified.
- Increase your confidence level. When you are confident you not only feel empowered, you also embody empowerment. Confidence does not mean arrogance or power tripping. Self-confidence is extremely important yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful. After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that’s being presented by someone who appears nervous or unsure of themselves. On the other hand, you might totally support someone if they speak clearly, hold their head high and answer questions with ease.
- Track your “proud moments.” As you go about your day, notice when you receive a compliment from a client, supplier, peer, direct report, or manager. Track these moments, by jotting them down in a journal or logging them onto a spreadsheet. As you complete your “to do” list items, or a major (or even minor) project and feel really good about their completion, add these to your “proud moments” list. Then, when you are having a bad day, feeling insecure, or simply need a quick “pick me up,” reflect back on your “proud moments” list. If you are an employee, this list becomes handy at performance appraisal time when you are asked to provide input to your boss about your performance. Many bosses will forget the wonderful things you did beyond 1-3 months, so its great to be able to pull out those “proud moments” and ensure you get recognized for them.
- Have a sounding board. Sometimes it is helpful to vent your frustrations, share your fantasies, and express your insecurities. The key is to have a safe place to do so. A professional coach can be that sounding board – a safe place to process your feelings, deal with your insecurities and find ways to move forward with confidence.
Albert Einstein defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Are you looking for different results? Ask yourself what you need to change to get different results. Recognize that change begins with you.
If you are looking to change your inner critic to start believing you ARE good enough, then call Linda at 416-617-0734 or email linda@lindacattelan.com.
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