Being Big in Your Life – If Not Now, When?

Picture a graveyard. Under the big oak tree in the far corner, there’s a granite headstone. Look closer. Notice the name engraved? Yep, it’s yours.

So, you are sitting here, looking at your headstone. There’s your year of birth, and the year you – heaven forbid – pass. And between them, there’s a little, coy hyphen.

Now, here’s the good news: that hyphen is what you get to play with.

On Being BIG

Let’s take a moment to think analytically about that hyphen. There are two things that anyone who aspires to be big must face. The first is knowing what you want to do. Or, in the words of poet Mary Oliver: “Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” (We will get to the second in a moment).

Determining what you want out of life – your career, relationships, and your free time – is a surprisingly hard process for many of us. It’s much easier to abide by the rules and plans of others than to look within ourselves and see clearly what we are meant to – and would really, really enjoy with the whole of our being – do.

So, here are 4 starting points for discovering your brand of being BIG:

  1. What are your threads? Everything you have done and loved up to this point is a thread running through your life. Those threads are always with you, and you can choose to pick them up again at any time. Adored math as a kid, but your parents pushed you into sales? Maybe its time to take some classes and explore.
  2. Who makes you jealous? Envy is actually a wonderful way to unearth some of our big, deep desires. Who have you been jealous of recently? Lindsey Vonn? Bill Gates? Maybe it’s a clue to your being big.
  3. What have you always wanted to do? Complete this sentence: “If money and time were no object, I would totally want to…” Work in Paris? Market my new idea? You could start today with a language audio download or learn about the patent process.
  4. What are your forbidden fruits? Sometimes we tell ourselves that certain things are off limits, when really, its just a mirage created by a limiting belief. What seems off-limits to you but might be great fun if it weren’t “forbidden”? Acting in a play or as a background actor in a movie being filmed in your local town? Buying a telescope? Writing a book?

The Second Thing

Once you are firmly pointed in the direction of your own bigness, you will undoubtedly meet the second thing about being big. As any hero will tell you, once you start heading in the direction of being big… once you take action toward your goals… the second thing undoubtedly shows up. And that thing is fear.

Here’s the secret about being big: you still get scared on a regular basis. (Perhaps even more often!) But it no longer stops you. Spooks you, absolutely! Makes your knees go weak, without a doubt. But when you are living big, fear ceases to be a reason to quit. To quote Susan Jeffers PhD, “feel the fear and do it anyway” (also the title of her book).

Because you have got big things you want to do with that little hyphen of yours.

If you need help playing a bigger game in your life, or if you are looking to eliminate the fear that’s holding you back, I can help. Call Linda at 416-617-0734 or email

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